Touched By Cancer

It seems as though everybody I know these days knows someone that either has cancer or has beaten it. Some of them know people who haven't been fortunate enough to win their battle, too.

I write this post in response to a couple of stories from a work colleague. She is 32, and has 2 friends who are, quite literally, dying. One is male, and has been in the news as the drug he needs has been approved to go on the PBS, but the price hasn't been negotiated. His name is Scott DeYoung and you may have seen in him the news recently. His drug costs $120,000 for one round (just 4 injections of the stuff). Luckily, Scott has had the money donated, including $30,000 from an anonymous doner (isn't it great to know there are still such giving people out there!).

Scott will now have a few more months (ie. more than 4) with his kids, one of which is only about 10 months old. This, hopefully, will buy him more time, at which point there is hopefully another advancement in medicine and perhaps another drug available to him.

The other person I mentioned is a woman, also 32, with 2 young kids. She also has terminal cancer that is in her bloodstream, and has been given a time frame of 12-18 months.

Take a second to consider - how would you feel, being told that your life span is about to be cut cruelly short, and very suddenly. Would you fear for your children? Would you fear that they might forget you? Would you fear that your partner might never be able to provide for them on their own? Would you fear that your kids would be so emotionally destroyed that they go down a different path in life than the one you had planned for them?

All of this, and I haven't even mentioned yet how scared you would be for yourself.

This woman had a mole. She left it, for quite some time. By the time she had it checked and cut out, it was too late - the cancer had spread. How do you spend your last days on earth trying to enjoy your life, without holding onto the biggest regret of your life in not going to the doctor sooner than you did? I don't have the answer. And I hope I never have to find out.

Watching my work colleague try and deal with this has also been tough. These are her friends. Friends whom she has known a long time, shared birthdays, weddings and newborn children with. And not just one friend, but two.

I personally know a woman who has her own battle going on, and who is fortunate enough to have an entire community that loves and cares for her. Nadine was diagnosed in 2011 with breast, lymphatic and liver cancer, shortly after the birth of her 3rd little girl. In the time since she was diagnosed, her friends have organised a massive fundraiser (during which I have NEVER seen so many people at the local clubrooms! So many people) and she has been a recipient of the Orange Pigeon's wish-granting services (she got to attend the 2011 AFL Grand Final). On the 12th April 2013 she was on The Project in a feature about Orange Pigeon.

In the last 3 years my eyes have been opened to cancer. I have learnt that there are foundations such as Orange Pigeon that help adults living with cancer, and I have learnt that entire communities will rally when called upon. I have learnt that it is not an easy thing to talk about, with others and with sufferers, and I've learnt that if I'm worried about my health under no circumstances should I wait to check it out.

Late last year I had my skin checked at Australian Skin Cancer Clinics in Blackburn, and I found that despite the 3-month waiting list and the $75 fee (which is medicare-subsidised just like a normal doctor), I would have paid that and more for the peace of mind it has given me. The doc advised my skin has 'no more damage than anyone else my age', which is shocking to me as I am as white as casper. I must have done a pretty awesome job of my sun protection, and a shout out to mum and dad for being paranoid as hell when I was a kid!

Even though I'm rather young (30), I'm considering getting a Mammogram sometime in the next few years, as the incidences of breast cancer in 30-40 year olds is rising, and as I mentioned, I'm happy to pay for that peace of mind, knowing that my time on this earth isn't going to be cut short by illness. It's scary, learning of so many people getting cancer and wondering 'could I be next?'. It's not a great way to live your life, but it does pop up every now and again.

There's also some great tools out there to help you help someone you know that has cancer, and how you can learn to deal with it. Given that 1 in 9 women are going to get breast cancer in their lives, you are more than likely going to know someone at some point that you will have to help, perhaps even care for.

To all those suffering through it, and all of those helping them to deal with it, you are loved, more than you know. You are the very definition of a fighting spirit, which most of us sit back and watch in awe.

12WBT Week 6 Run-Down

We're at the half-way mark of the 12WBT!! Well, some of you are. This was my 'week 3' of exercise, so I'm still a bit behind.

A major positive I've taken is that for the first 3 weeks I couldn't exercise so all I could do was focus on eating right - and as the world's worst cook, I'm so glad that I was able to have that time to concentrate on one thing only. Now that I've gone back to the gym, it's like I have no time to cook!! I get  home around 6:45pm on cardio nights and I'm not a huge fan of eating after 7pm, but by the time I get the meal on the table it's 7:30pm, even 7:45pm. And going by Oprah's mantra of 'don't eat 2 hours before bed' it's killing me because I want to be in bed by 9pm some nights!
So next week's aim is going to be to prep more - or even make up a batch of one meal on Sunday so I can just re-heat during the week.

Does anybody else have a hard time focussing on both cooking AND exercise?

Anyway, so week 6 went like this:

Small Setbacks

• Kinda out of money for the month. Yes, I get paid monthly. It's a total bitch.
• Going to have to have 'cheap lunches' next week due to above point. That's ok, sandwiches are cheap (booooooooriiiiiiing!!)
• It's not my setback, but a friend lost her job and I feel awful for her. All chicks are the same- when something bad happens to a friend, it's an emotional drainer for all of us.
• My new ankle brace is extremely uncomfortable WHINGE WHINE Throw it against a wall
• May have made a 3am trip to maccas Saturday night. Best. Maccas. Ever.
• Didn't do my SSS. Just had nothing left in the tank. Actually spent about 12 hours in bed - that never ever happens. Was just completely knackered so besides the 30th on Saturday night we didn't really do much throughout the day. Not even washing. Or cleaning. Or anything else that needed to get done. BLAH
• Pretty sure I had my first DOMS experience Sunday night - haven't exercised since Thursday and was in so much discomfort that it was almost painful. And it hit at like 3am, so not awesome.

Small Wins

• On Tuesday night a lady tapped me on the shoulder at the gym and told me I was looking good. Did THAT make my day or WHAT!! Especially when the scales haven't moved an inch for me yet.
• Copped another compliment from a fellow 12 WBT'er on the 12WBT portal, complimenting me on my positive outlook!
• New ankle brace, whilst uncomfortable, is going to help trick my brain into thinking I'm ok to play netball again in a couple of weeks. Apparently.
• Besides the maccas on Saturday night, I was fairly restrained at the 30th I attended. I had a couple of dim sims and party pies, but there was no gorging or packing a plate with 10 of each like usual. Compared to other nights out I did pretty well.
• Said friend had another job before the week was out - WOOHOO!!
• Beef and Guiness Pie was another win - even though I made it with leftover lamb mince and red wine. It does need more tomato paste or something though, but all in all very nice!

So in a nutshell I had an amazing week that got brought undone by the weekend. But on a good note, this weekend was the only one I had bookmarked to go 'drinking' throughout the entire 12 weeks, so now that it's done I feel better. Trying to recover from drinking is just too hard these days - I didn't have enough to drink to have a hangover, but I'm still tired Monday morning. We are getting old! haha

I'm also going to be getting the hot water bottles out next week, finally - the bed is just getting that little bit too cold to get into when you're already half asleep. And boy, didn't the temperature drop in Melbourne this week! Even today it's still 3 degrees at 10am. At least in Melbourne it's only ever going to get cold to a certain point - I feel for people who live in the snow and use running as their exercise:

Anyway a nice toasty bed sounds amazing to me!!

12WBT - Week 5 Run-Down

So week 5 started with the Queen's Birthday public holiday in Melbourne, and unlike most people I stayed at home. Because that's what you do when you are broke. At least I got to watch Game 2 of the NBA finals on Monday!

Small Setbacks:

• Tiny tiny slip-up at 1st birthday party on Sunday - had maybe 4-6 party-sized sausage rolls, a couple of pinwheels, one solitary slice of fairy bread, but mostly ate the good stuff including finger sandwiches.
• One can of soft drink on Sunday. It tasted like crap, BTW.

Small Wins:

• I JOGGED. Like, JOGGED people!! First time in over 5 weeks!! And it felt better the more I did it.
• Thanks to my newfound walking/running abilities post-injury, I did EVERY single workout this week, in it's entirety. Even my first SSS :) Only burnt 900 cals but I figure it's close enough and it was the first time I'd REALLY pushed my ankle - bring on next Saturday!
• Physio says my ankle has healed very well and I can go back to netball soon. He fit a brace too so my brain is now tricked into thinking my ankle is fine.
• I made such an awesome pesto for my spaghetti with pumpkin and tomato. Who knew I was capable of such tastes??
• Had another win with the sweet and sour pork!
• Ate fruit every single work day.
• For the most part did REALLY well flexing my will-power muscle at the first birthday party - I told myself I could have a little bit, and that's all I had.
• JUST THE ONE CAN OF SOFT DRINK. I've beaten it peeps. Headaches are over!
• Took a sandwich to Auskick on Saturday night and resisted soft drink and my pie :) I then forgot I had said sandwich so my calorie intake for Saturday was only about 800 cals oops

So have y'all noticed that this week I had so many more WINS than setbacks? For me, this week is the changing of the tide. I've finally knocked out one full week of exercise and I feel like I'm finally 'on the team' with everybody else. And you know what? I'm EMBRACING it - it's so exciting for me! I've sat back and watched everybody else's journey for the last 6 weeks whilst I've been at kind of a stalemate, so this week has been huge for me.

I don't know why people don't like change. Most of the time it is for the better. There are life changes at various stages in everybody's life that they must deal with, and that we all know are eventually going to pop up. So why fight against change with everything you've got, when you're supposed to learn how to accept it and embrace it, before the big things happen? I'll never understand. I got told once at Maccas that I don't like change - this from my store manager - and that my goal for the entire YEAR was to learn how to handle change, and more importantly how to manage it. It was the best goal she could have given me - because now when I look at situations, my first instinct is not 'holy crap', it's 'what are the facts and how are we going to handle it'. That may seem uncompassionate to some - but trust me, when all is done and dusted that's when the emotional charge of the situation might hit me. And that's when I might have to go and lean on someone else instead of bearing the load.

ANYWAY - #justsayin

Change of direction:
I tells ya, that Saturday sesh killed me - how the hell do y'all do that EVERY Saturday?? It's definitely going to be an interesting next 6 weeks!

I've come across the local Coles' Scoop & Weigh bar this week - I basically figure out how much is 100calories and make up little bags to take to work - today's cost 89 cents. Save yourself a heap of $$ by not having to purchase entire 1kg bags of this stuff.

I'm a bit of a muncher so dried fruit and nuts are perfect to give me something healthy that I can keep dipping my hand back into! I find it difficult in the winter months to eat things like celery and hommus, it's just a bit too cold for my liking.


On a final note - do you ever get used to going to 1st birthday parties? Too many toddlers is a little bit too much for me.

Stay warm!

12WBT Week 4 Run-Down

Small Setbacks:

• Maccas for Breakfast. Monday AND Tuesday. Eww.
• Diet coke to match that breakfast. My skin is going to be PAYING for this next week!
• Voltaren has constipatory effects.
• STILL with the diet coke on Wednesday.....and Thursday.....and Friday.
• TOO MUCH CAKE.
• Small piece of chocolate Thursday after clients brought them in for us.
• Have been absolutely shocking with my rehab exercises.
• Spent a bit too much money buying myself.....presents. Yes, that's what I'll call them. (realistically, I only have 3 pairs of shorts to workout in, so 1 pair of compression tights are probably well called for!)
• Have slept shit all week. Probably something to do with the diet coke.
• Had pizza sunday night - however it was my treat meal so it's ok!
• Got stuck at the cinema Saturday night - Hog's Breath Café is NOT the place to go if you are looking to eat well. Your salad options come with a slathering of Caesar or Ranch dressing. Go figure. Went for the steak sandwich as it was the best thing I could find.

Small Wins:

• Physio actually encouraged me to be getting back to cardio exercises (low-impact ie.x-trainer and bike)
• Signed up for the Melbourne Marathon in October (albeit 5.7kms, but hey, we all know I hate running right)
• Did 35 minute workout on Tuesday  night, burnt 257 calories (7 minutes on the x-trainer was all the cardio I could manage, didn't want to overdo it on the ankle).
• Somehow, I have lost 11.5cms in 4 weeks. With no exercise. (the sceptic in me thinks perhaps I haven't measured properly)
• Wednesday's workout burnt 300 calories, 15 mins on x trainer and bike (still no running allowed).
• I'm now more determined to improve my eating habits because I am exercising again
• Kept myself to only 2 pieces of chocolate on Friday at work (they were only freckles anyway!)
• Got my Run Melbourne singlet in the post! I Love STUFF!
• Successfully resisted buying a pair of red suede pumps for $50 (down from $159, such a bargain).
• Doubled up on some meals and saved some money.
• Contained myself and handed over all but about 5 chips that came with my steak sandwich at the disgusting Hog's Breath café.

When I read this back I'm like, BAM - what a week!! Lots of stuff happened!

So this week was all about Game of Thrones. Clearly. Even if you don't read/watch the show, how on earth did you NOT hear about last Monday night's disasterous episode?? In a nutshell, 3 of the main characters got brutally murdered, and by the looks of it the producers had a FIELD day filming it - so much blood, beheading and throat-slitting. Eww.

The best meme I saw was this:

Made even funnier by the fact that the creator can't spell.

I have just finished the 6th book - it has taken me nearly 18months, and countless nights up late (I know it's late if the boyf comes home and I'm still up!). Some nights I would dream about it as it was the last thing I read before falling asleep. Needless to say my dreams have been nothing but entertaining, sometimes terrifying (that's what happens when the guy lops off heads here and there!). All in all, I highly recommend reading them! As with all books-to-tv projects, there is so much that gets overlooked and omitted in the tv show.

The reaction this week when they killed off some 'good guys' was priceless. There was even a YouTube compilation made of people's priceless reactions! (Utterly ridiculous to be that emotionally attached to a show, by the way).

So if you haven't been completely taken by this whole new world, I highly recommend reading the books if you are a reader, or watching the show if you hate books. There's a reason everybody is raving about it.

Week 5's goal : NO DIET COKE. There. I said it. Now to JFDI!

12WBT Week 3 Run-Down

Week 3 - Talk about Self-Sabotage!! Oops.

Small Setbacks
(I've decided 'setback' is nicer than 'fail'!)

• Had maccas for dinner Thursday night because I decided that at 7pm, I'd had enough of the shopping centre and I was hungry like, RIGHT NOW
• Had maccas for breaky on Saturday. No reason really, had already had cereal so just couldn't help myself.
• Lasted 5 minutes on the cross trainer. Gave up, ankle too sore. But then to make matters worse, gave up on my entire workout complete.
• Haven't done an actual 'workout' this week.
• Came completely unstuck at a baby shower yesterday. Champagne, sausage rolls, lollies. You name it, it went down the hole! God it was good. Besides the SUGAR HEADACHE all night.
• Food has been slightly appalling.
• Had too much soft drink for my liking (maybe 3 cans over the week?)
• Cooked the Cajun chicken salad and hated it so much I gave up on cooking for the rest of the week. Yep, full on cracked the shits.
• Threw away food (ie. wasted money!!) because of said cracking the shits with cooking.
• Mr Physio is my least favourite person right now - the PAIN he puts me through!!

Small wins:

•  Threw the BEST baby shower ever yesterday!!
• Asked one of the mums to make finger sandwiches for said baby shower, so that at least there was one healthy option (they were the most popular item too!)
• Ankle is moving better, my 'gait' is somewhat back to normal. Physio is painful but after a couple of days, totally worth it. 
• Only had a handful of m&m's at the cinema on Friday night, AND took our own water instead of soft drink.

All in all, a pretty shit week, really. In a bit of a weird headspace because I haven't been exercising BUT that's all changing in week 4!

Because I haven't been able to exercise, I don't really have a 'major event' planned for my mini-milestone in week 4. I did have a think about it, however, and my 'mini-milestone' is merely going to be starting my exercise regime, for realz. No 1-day-per-week crap, no 15- minute- workout crap. It's going to take me another 4 weeks to figure out what to do at week 8.

What is planned for your mini-milestone?  And how many setbacks/wins did you have this week - can you notice them changing?

And slightly off-topic - did anybody else notice that Angelina had a bit of an 'upgrade' done whilst undergoing reconstructive surgery?

Hey, you go through all that pain, why not?

PERSPECTIVE

The Dictionary states that Perspective is 'a way of regarding situations, facts, etc. and judging their relative importance', and also ' the proper or accurate point of view or the ability to see it; objectivity'.

When you sit back and look at the small dramas in your life, do they REALLY matter? Or is it just the way that you are regarding the situation that makes it seem like the ultimate drama?

It takes mental strength to look past those dramas and see them for what they are - small, useless little bumps in the road that we quite easily cross, after all the nonsense is put aside.

Over the weekend I worked with a guy who, at 30 years of age, got hit by a motorbike and will never walk again. He has a wife and 2 young children, a job and a mortgage. And now a wheelchair. It has taken him 12 months to get to where he is - I remember when it was a momentous occasion just leaving the rehab hospital to go and get maccas on his birthday.

I tore ligaments in my ankle one month ago today and it's been a huge mental game. But I will walk properly again.

Perspective.

I am 30 years old with debt, no house, no kids, no marriage, and sometimes feel as though I will never have any of it. But I have travelled and seen sights like this in Doubtful Sound, NZ:

This photo is not in black and white, nor is it taken with a special camera - a humble digital camera and a stormy day did all the work. I have seen beauty that most people I know will never experience. That, for me, is better than owning my own home.

Perspective.

Believe it or not, there are always going to be other people that have it 10 times harder than you. People who lose entire families in fires, women sleeping on the streets because their husbands beat them to within inches of their lives, people killed by mother nature (eg. Oklahoma just this week), and those who will never be able to run around after their children.

So the next time you have a bad day, or eat something you know you shouldn't have - take a second to have a think about those people.

Find some perspective.

12WBT: C.O.N.F.I.D.E.N.C.E.....and some Self Belief too

WHERE has all the confidence and self-belief gone?

3 weeks ago we were all so excited (I'm looking at YOU, 12WBTers!) to start 12WBT. The anticipation was rife, the exuberance seemed to flow right out of my computer in front of me whilst trawling the forums.

We all shared our ideas about how we were planning to tackle this 'life-change' (I imagine in 20 years I'll be having a conversation with my doctor about the next 'life-change').

We shared our goals, whether they be weight-related, or fitting into that LBD that hasn't fit since 1995, or even the hard-hitting 'I want my sex life back!'.

We made commitment promises, to ourselves and anybody in our lives who we made listen to us. We went back to those same people, over and over again (and over and over and over) merely to talk ourselves into committing to the 12WBT.

Some of us went out there and joined a gym for the first time EVER, some of us went and bought a whole new workout wardrobe, knowing full well that the hottest item of clothing is never going to help your workout-face magically disappear (but, like yoursex-face you never have to actually see it so we don't worry about our workout-faces either!).

Now, at the beginning of week 3, the forums are full of people that have 'fallen off the wagon', or had a 'bad food day', or are even 'disappointed at a 1kg loss in a week'.And they are writing about it, with the intention of invoking a response from others who will tell them 'it's ok to have a bad day', and 'just pick yourself back up'.

Where have all the confident people gone from 3 weeks ago? The people who had a plan and made a commitment? Are you one of them? If so, then come back!!

It's all well and good to look for some support from the forums - but we can't MAKE you do anything. We can't haul your ass back up onto the back of that wagon, and we certainly can't be your willpower. Only YOU can do that. And YOU need to take responsibility for your actions. No point trying to justify the bad ones, you'll just waste more time and energy, which you should be putting into finding a solution instead. Get OUT of the habit of looking for pity - look in the mirror instead and be reminded of WHY you are choosing to be on this journey.

Half the challenge is learning to pick yourself back up when you fall. It is one of life's great lessons and we actually learn it at a very young age (yes, learning to walk people!!).

There's really no trick to it. So you messed up once? Twice? A few times? Oh well. Life doesn't suck, the sky isn't going to fall in, you're not a horrible person, you haven't screwed up your 12 weeks.

You are a human being. We falter.

So get some ATTITUDE about that pretty face of your's - YOU wanted to make that change 3 weeks ago, remember??

Nobody EVER RSVP's 'yes' to a pity party!

Now get out there and JFDI!