Falling off the Wagon before the Horse has left the Stable

Wow.

Have you ever seen something coming and then proceeded to do your absolute BEST do sabotage yourself before it has started? (all my fellow 12WBT'ers know what I'm about to say next)

So I recently posted that I signed up to Michelle Bridge's 12 Week Body Transformation (12WBT) and in the 3 or so weeks since doing so, it has been an ENDLESS parade of this:

(Bacon and Egg McMuffin come AT me!)

and this:

(hellOOOOOOOOOOOOO 3pm hit!!)

and yes, alas, this:

(who has TIME for cooking???)


I know what you must be thinking. How is a Lean Cuisine POSSIBLY as bad as the first two - well it's pretty simple:

Just LOOK at that sodium!! 30% of my daily intake?? In one hit??

So as this heading has suggested - yes, I fell off the wagon before the horse has even left the stable. I can see the start of the 12WBT coming on May 13th and man, I am trying my darn hardest to get all of my 'last suppers' in at once.

As a result I have put on yet another kilo. I am now 3kgs heavier than 8 weeks ago when I went on a month-long holiday to the USA. Those 3kgs that I fought DAMN hard to lose, and I tell you, when I say DAMN hard I mean it - I'm down to my last 5kgs and peeps, they will be the hardest you will ever lose.

So I am now kicking myself.

But I have stopped drinking diet coke.

I'm down to ONE day per week with maccas breaky (don't wanna push the boundaries by going cold turkey on too much at once, now).

And I haven't had a lean cuisine this week (well, yet).

The pre-season tasks that Michelle has been setting us really force you to re-assess pretty much your life, in a nutshell. I've had to ask myself why I bothered paying the $200 if I'm not going to commit to the program. I've had to sit down and figure out what other non-weight related goals I have in life now that I've finished studying. I've had to beg and plead with the chef boyfriend to please please not cook me anything with full cream or butter in it (I think we've had success).

And you know what? I've actually ENJOYED having to take a good, hard look at myself. You don't often in life get too many opportunities to stop, assess, plan and take action when it comes to yourself. Yes, there have been tears. Yes, there have been annoying moments in the last couple of weeks with realisations that I don't particularly like.

But quite frankly, I can't be ARSED having to go through this weight-loss crap AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN. And that simple fact is driving me to get back on that wagon and kicking that horse fair up the butt so that I can start this journey and never have to look back!

Hell, I might even burn the stable down so I can't!